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morristibbs:

im laghing so hard at this

(via brienneofkobol)

letseyx:

Shirley: And how about that guy that’s always around, flirting with Britta?
Jeff: I know! He’s the worst! Vaughn?
Shirley: I know, and what is it with his hair?
Jeff: It’s perpetually moist!
—-
Shirley: Do you see how often hackey-sack takes this shirt off?
—-
Shirley: I don’t see why you and Britta aren’t together. Two cute white people, going to school together, it just seems right.
Jeff: Shirley, we’re not pandas in a zoo.
—-
Shirley: Tell me you’ve noticed how small his nipples are.
Jeff: Not engaging.
Shirley: What? It’s not gossip when it’s fact! My kids have got hamsters with bigger nips.
—-
Shirley: Well, that’s a cool shirt.
Vaughn: Thank you, thank you very much.
Shirley: Where’s it from?
Vaughn: Oh, uh, I don’t even know. I guess it’s, well, uh…(takes his shirt off) Hey, look at that. “Hanes classic.”
Shirley: Oh, that’s nice. (mimes to Jeff about Vaughn’s tiny nipples behind his back while he’s talking)
Jeff: You are the devil!
Shirley: I know!
—-
(Jeff reads Vaughn’s poem for Britta)
Shirley: Thank you so much, you just brightened my day! I’m so glad we can rip on this dude again.
—-
Shirley: You all have got to see him. Everything’s all “no worries, no worries.” And he always says hello three times in a row. Hello, good evening, how are you? And here, look, he wrote a poem!
—-
Britta: I can’t believe you!
Shirley: Honestly, Jeff, HOW DARE YOU.
—-
Shirley: I have a gossip problem. I stir the pot, Jeff, I’m a pot stirrer. This isn’t even the only study group I’ve been in this year. You see those ladies over there. I used to be in their group until they kicked me out. They call me “tattle-Ina.” It’s a bumblebee nickname. It’s cute, but it stings.
—-
Jeff: Look, we can still hang out. It’s just, you know, we won’t bag on people.
Shirley: Come on, Jeff, what are we gonna talk about? My kids? Your doctor career?
Jeff: I was a laywer.
Shirley: See? I’m already bored.
Jeff: Well… we’ll always have tiny tipples.
Shirley: (laughs) They were tiny.

Top 5 Shirley Bennett moments | 1. All of her moments in Social Psychology

(via communitythings)

communitythings:

(via echofades)